I’ve been away for so long and I have so much to say, yet absolutely no desire to blog at all. I guess for now I’ll do a quick recap. In the past 30 days I,
1. Turned in my 10 page on PTSD and veterans and although I don’t know what my grade was I got an A in Abnormal Psychology without taking the final.
2. I also got an A in Principles of Sociology and a B+ in Principles of Biology I.
3. I decided not to take any winter session classes because I wanted to go inpatient for 2 weeks, but we don’t have any medical insurance right now.
4. We had to make the decision to evict our two remaining tenants. They in turn decided to countersue us. One of the tenants is my sister, Chosen Child.
5. In three days we finally will appear in court for our bankruptcy hearing.
6. We did have a lovely Christmas. However, I did decide to invite my other sister Sheba over and she decided to spend the night. She seemed fine but when she got home she posted all sorts of snide, critical, judgemental comments about things we said or that she observed while visiting.
7. I decided to stop “sparing” my dad’s feelings and when he called to wish me a Merry Christmas. I told him that the mother molested me and traded me off for drugs. He paused, acknowledged that I had indeed gone through “a lot of trauma” but I must not forget that the majority of the world has also suffered trauma and I need to realize that it is over and in the past. He also said that he wasn’t going to say whether or not what my mother did was right or wrong, all that matters is it was her problem not mines.
8. I have spent at least 8 hours filing and organizing tons of paperwork and answering 33 questions that were posed in the countersuit. This has made me intensely angry and resentful to an extent that even I don’t understand. I will be so happy when the three family is in the rear view mirror of my life …..
9. I started filling out applications for jobs in mental health and substance abuse. I am hoping to secure a job with at least 20 hours a week. I hope to pay for my therapy with this.
10. I advocated my foster son out of a contained classroom for the first time in his life and he will be mainstreamed on Monday.
11. I went to my first church service in 5 months about 2 weeks ago. When they asked the first time visitors to stand my heart started pounding. When the congregation started coming over to greet and hug us I had an anxiety attack. I don’t know if I will ever feel like I used to in Church ever again….and that is starting to not bother me at all.
12. I came up with plan C or D. I wish I was able to get my Associates degree finished in 2 years but I didn’t. I will have to transfer to a 4 year university in the Spring of ’12. I decided to take the accelerated Bachelors/Masters in Psychology and apply to work for DCF. That’s right ladies and gentleman I am going over to the dark side! I will then work towards my CAGS or Phd. Then I can leave DCF and see clients for therapy or teach in a university…or both.
Sorry, I really have missed you all, I just don’t have the will to write right now. Love you all and Happy New Year !
I am loving this clip right now…
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